Love

The strange thing about love is we're always asking ourselves if this is really love.

Deep down we know, but yet we still ask ourselves. 

I'm Human

I always seem to find a way to sabotage everything that matters to me

I'm an idiot, controlled by fear

I'm human, I have no excuse, or an explanation

 

 

Run

I want to scream, I want to run

Run far away from everything, and everyone I know. 

Just run

It's been so long since I felt like I belonged anywhere, I almost don't remember what it felt like

Holiday's and birthday's pass without a phone call, Facebook doesn't count

Intimacy is a stranger to me, just a little affection, a brush of the skin, a hug, a kiss

It's rare, and almost nonexistent 

On the outside looking in

Who Knows

Dreams and hope, it's all we really have, and usually all we need. 

It's never too late. 

Never...

I've had many, but there's only been one that's really mattered. 

A life with the woman that stole my heart, so long ago. 

My one true love, my soulmate. 

She's flaky, a drama queen, but I understand her, and she understands me. 

She'll always be the most amazing person I know. I hope someday she'll understand that. 

Who knows...

Soulmate

Dear A,

I'm still here, missing you. 

Missing everything about you. 

I'm still here, thinking about you, and hoping.

Do you still think of me?

Miss me, love me?

All I have is hope, and my dreams.

It's what I have left of us. 

Nothing more, nothing less. 

It's all I have of you. 

My Love, my Soulmate.  

With all my love,

       T

The Truth

My feelings for you run deeper than the deepest ocean. You make me feel like the weakest man, and the strongest at the same time. You're always in my thoughts, your eyes, your smile, your skin against mine. 

You make me want to be a better person. 

These are some of the things I want to say to you, but I can't. Because I know true emotion scares you, and pushes you away. So I write them here, in my digital journal, in hopes that you'll see them some day. 

I love you A. 

Wish

Can't sleep, can't eat, can't think about anything but you.

The pain is so bad, I want to make it stop.

I wish I could make it stop. 

I wish I could fix everything that's broken between us. 

I wish...

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas my Love.

 I've made promises, and followed through. You made promises to, but walked away....

I gave up my secured life and moved here. You asked me to,... so I did.  

I love Seattle, but you're not here to share it with. 

Desertion is the harshest pain. You know that. 

Dreams and hope, is all that is left. I can't expect you to understand.  

Goodnight 

I never walked away from you.

You walked away from me......

T

A

Dear Love,

  After the other night, if you don't ever want to talk to me again, I understand. I'll disappear, and you'll never have to see, or hear from me again,... ever.

We burned our bridge, you in August, me in July. I hope we can rebuild it someday.

I miss you...


  Your Man, with all my heart,
                   T

Good Night

Good night, good night my Love...
Still here,... still here
Still missing you, still in love with you, still here

Always here...

Tears

I can't provide you with a large house, a nice car, or a bunch of shiny jewelry. 

The only wealth I can offer you is my heart, the only diamonds I have are my tears. 

The Road

This road,... this lonely road. 

How long have I been walking this road? 

I've seen friends and family come and go, and I still miss them all. I've never mourned their passing, because I'm not that strong. 

I've kept everyone at arms length to spare them from my self destructive nature. 

And I'm sorry for that....

Most of my life I've been a floor mat, a step ladder, a shoulder to cry on. Nothing more. Then I'm tossed aside to be forgotten, a guilty mistake. 

No moving forward, no hope, just stagnate, and dreaming.  

All I have anymore are my dreams. 

Always Waiting

Angels weeping over lost love, dreaming of what could be, sleeping endlessly because I only get to see you in my dreams.

The softest part of heaven is in the touch of your skin, your eyes only remind me of what I hope could be, would be.
Walking these lonely dark streets without you is a pain I'd hope nobody else experiences. We walk the same road, but separately.

I'm yours, take me, leave me, I'll always be your man.
All you had to do was smile and say hello, I knew,... I knew I'd always love you.

Tears falling like the city we live in, moments of clarity, followed by pain.
Waking in the middle of the night talking to the ghost of you, only to roll over to wish I never woke.

I'm incomplete without you, and you without me, yet we need to make everything so complicated.

I've always loved you, always have, always will.
You, all the bad, and the good, I love you.
Never walking away, never giving up hope.
Always waiting.