Enjoy

I enjoy the awkwardness, I enjoy the challenge, I'm either really intelligent or fucking crazy, you decide. I can't keep spewing words in hopes of understanding, most never listened to begin with...

I'm still walking the same line, and continuing to understand myself. I don't expect you to care, or have pity. I'm happy, I'm still me, and probably will always be...

I hope for friends and no enemies, I'm open minded and open hearted. I'm tired of grudges and drama. Life ticks away to fast for that shit. Give a damn or at least try.

I've always hated labels, but I'm sure I have one, too.

Time to move on, time to keep going. Look for something new, and don't be afraid to explore. Your life is your own and no one else's, your decision, your call, good luck, and enjoy.                              

Moving Forward

I'm feeling pretty good, I'm in a good place.
I just don't know how to accurately translate it.
Sorry.... here I go.

I'm walking to work, listening to some cool tunes, and then I notice.
The air smelled good, the sun was out and it was warm.
Birds where chirping, squirrels where scampering, and for the first time since I was a kid, I noticed.

I couldn't remember the last time, I stopped noticing the colors of life.

Where have I been?

What the hell have I been doing?

Where do I go from here?

I can't stop here, I'm moving forward.

Still Nothing

sitting...... waiting...... hoping...... crying..... pleading..... trying..... still nothing.

Walking

With words instead of actions, with dreams instead of reality, or it would seem so...

Walking my line by choice and with no discretion.

The days, and months blur with no definition, thank God, if one exists. 

A small sample of life, I call it my existence.

The comfort of comfort, most wouldn't, and don't recognize it.
With one foot in front of the other, I'm still walking.
My choice, my road.

An Experiment

What if? 
I said some random shit?
Really random.


Dog shit and applesauce. 
Is there anyone there?
Testing, 1-2-3-4.


Buttercups and butterfly's, a slow slide into insanity.
Sitting on the precipice of an idea, afraid of being shunned.  
Dreaming.... and still waiting.


Dreaming and still wanting to be......

Miserable Bastard

I'm a trapped, miserable bastard. I keep wondering what would happen if I just quit my job, gave all my shit away, and just disappeared for good?

Total Moron

I try to make friends, I try to hard.

I make plans, no one shows.

I make a date, no one calls.

I'm still trying, but it's not working, I don't have anyone to talk to.

I'm lonely, it's been years, I feel stupid.

I don't even remember how to talk to people, I'm an exquisite example of lost hope, a total moron when playing the social game. 

Holiday on the Moon

Maybe

Running away from myself, hating my words, I think better than I talk, or write.
I don't translate well for most, I write in riddles, simple and yet complex.
I feel bad for even trying. I'm a slave to my thoughts, and sometimes I like it.

Keep guessing, I'm going too.
Maybe, I'm a contradiction, it's not my place to say.
Maybe, just maybe....

It's time to walk away, yet with humble hesitation, I disagree.
Words, upon words, upon memories, upon thoughts, upon actions, and still, here I am.

Thinking and writing.

Still Hoping

Turning misery into hope, dreaming of better outcomes.

Twisting and turning on the bed, wishing, still no sleep.
Sabotage of a lonely heart, stepping on toes, just to talk.

Words unheard, forever more, and counting.

Flogging memories to keep alive, and in touch with others.
But still, and still overly continuous...

Burning a candle for the return of acceptance.

Dreaming, cheap and underestimated.
Left behind to grow old, and to be responsible.

...... Still hoping.

No Regrets

Posted laziness, no regrets, and I can't give a fuck any more.
These are my words, take them or leave them. In time it won't matter anyways.
I hate what I write more than you do, trust me.

All I know is I've got to write, I can't stop.
Is this my Pandora's Box?

I Wish

I wish I could see who I used to be, I wish I could remember my heart.
I wish I could take it all back, but what would be the point?

Asshole

I'm a headache, a pain in the ass.
A painful memory from years, past.

An obligation, a burden on my family and friends.
An embarrassment at best, and still, that depends.

I can't make up or apologize, but with desperate pain, I've realized.
I'm an asshole, and so,
I'm gone.

Vivid

For me a song is like marking a favorite page of a book, but I mark my favorite memories with songs. I hear the song and it's like seeing the memory again, total recall, everything becomes so vivid.

Mr. Magoo

I'm probably, always going to be remembered, just as "Terry",..... I'm happy with that, but Mr. Magoo or Chore-boy, it hurts as well as it's humiliating. Please stop, I know you're doing better than me, and I'm very proud, but I'm not interested in having my face smothered in my own mistakes.